...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
