If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
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