need another drink. this is the easiest way
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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