Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
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