I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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