Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I need to calm my uterus...
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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