Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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