: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
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