walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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