you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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