whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I smell like Dick and happiness
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
