Betty ford says i'm here all night
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
