Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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