I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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