Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
