the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
