I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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