i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
