guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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