xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
