you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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