The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
