I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize