i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
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Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
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Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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