He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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