i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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