Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
