it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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