I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
sick fucks of a feather flock together
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
