I've blown a few things in my day
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
