What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
