..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
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