we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
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We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
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Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
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