That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
