Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
We smell like vodka and hangover
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