I must be too annoying 4 u.
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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