He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
