Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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