yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize