dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize
