He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
