Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
