"it" just moved
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize