I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
