hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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