His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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