we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
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Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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