mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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