So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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