you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
please come you make the beer taste better
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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