There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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