Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
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