I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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