i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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