that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
