Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
