so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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