ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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