I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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