i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
