Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Randomize
