I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
