Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
