I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
