I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
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I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
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Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
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