my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
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