Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
