i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
try to milk me bitch
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